Well, we're off to Washington, DC for the weekend. See you Sunday night...

Does anyone know anything about getting a business license? For complicated reasons, that's what I need to do to get a freelance job from my old company. I think it's both simple and free, but I'm wondering what it does to taxes and so forth.

If I get one, though, then I can freelance for them, and that's really good. I don't know how many hours a week they'll give me, but I know they're starting some new projects, so I suspect it'd be pretty ample. In my fantasy kingdom, I freelance for them part-time, thus earning money, and freelance for the nonpaying people the rest of the time, thus earning some combination of stock options, goodwill, Aeron chairs, and blocks of cheddar.

Tizzed, I have had government surplus cheese, and I was maybe seven at the time but I remember it being pretty good. I take a very catholic attitude towards cheese, though. I was about to write that I've never had a bad cheese, but then I remembered that I ate a cheese once called The General that you could smell from maybe three rooms away, so I take that back. But that's the only one.

I realize that my attitude towards the NBC lineup diverges sharply from that of my readership, but I have two comments from tonight's viewing. First, Will and Grace, not normally a show I like, has been really funny lately. But maybe I just have a soft spot for spelling-bee themes. Second, I think about half of the contestants on Average Joe are kinda cute. I admit to not finding attractive the ones that are clearly supposed to be ugly because they're overweight, but the ones who are supposed to be ugly because they're geeky are A-OK with me.

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Heather: I must get home to set the VCR to tape W&G (and Friends) before I leave for choir. I've found W&G pretty funny lately too, but I've kind of liked it since I first started watching it, but that was only midway through last season. I always, always look forward to Scrubs too.

EV: I missed them all last night, dammit. But I was at a moderately fun Halloween party, where I saw one of my and Jess's very favoritist people (hint: in case it has not been recognized that my sarcasm comes standard, it is actually one of our least favoritist people, who was dating one of the boys you had a crush on all of freshman year, and I'm not talking about the one who lived in our building).

Jess: This would be the person who thought all the time that you were the one with the crush on the guy I had a crush on, and so liked me and didn't like you? What was she doing there?

EV: It would. It was a party for my friend with the same name's business school, and she goes to the same business school. Out of the 300 people in attendance, she was one of about four not in costume.

Well, I wrote a rough draft of my query letter. As I told Heather, it's really awful. It uses lots of cliches and doesn't do my characters any justice. However, I was intimidated to even start it, and so I'm glad I'm past that obstacle. I think revising it, although it needs a lot of revisions, will be comparatively simple.

I'm meeting with the guy with the possible nonpaying job offer on Tuesday. I hope we can work something out, but I'm also just happy to be doing any sort of interview, since I haven't been in a work setting for two and a half months. It'll be good to get dressed up (although I was specifically instructed to dress casually) and go find the place and try not to be early, and all that. Nerve-wracking, but good too. And since it's a nonpaying job, the stress should be as low as stress can ever be in that kind of situation.

Robbie told me this morning that he'd never heard of "Solid Gold." Now what am I supposed to do with someone like that? I tried to describe it, with the Top 40 hits and the dancers and Dionne Warwick or sometimes Rick Dees, but no, nothing. I suppose he was off in the Louvre with his private tutor while I was at home practicing my Solid Gold dance moves. I did find a .wav file of the theme, though, and I think it captured his imagination, because he's been singing it ever since.

I'm editing this to add that I loathe the character of Amy Gardiner so thoroughly, I can't even begin to tell you. Sorry, Heather, I know you like her. Seriously, though, if Mary-Louise Parker weren't going on maternity leave soon, I think I'd give up West Wing watching for good.

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Dr. tizzed: Solid Gold. Tivo "I love the 80's Strikes Back, 1980" episode for a recap of solid gold, which included the line The solid gold dancers taught a generation of young men how to masturbate on a saturday afternoon. I was a dance fever fan, myself. We'd watch that as a family, clear the space in front of the TV and take turns dancing during the show

EV: a) Amy Gardiner is one of the strangest, most creative characters developed in television today.
b) While not having heard of Solid Gold is strange indeed, I don't think that someone who hadn't heard of a Shirley Temple until college really is in a position to judge.

Heather: Craig watched West Wing with us last night and commented on how much he liked Amy. I said that I liked her too, but I knew that some people really hated her. He seemed surprised.

Jess: I agree that the character, as developed by the writers, is a strange, creative invention. I also like the actress a lot. But if I met the character as a real person, I'd want to slap her all the time. I don't think she's a bad _character_, from a writerly perspective--she's multi-dimensional, she probably has an interesting backstory, et cetera. But, as a person, I find her loathsome.

Matthew Lippert: I have to agree with Craig and Heather about Amy. She's one of my favorite characters, though recently she's been as bad as everyone else. I blame the new writing for that. Bring back Aaron Sorkin!

Robbie: I don't think it was Aaron Sorkin persay that was so good, but just having writers that were on shrooms. So I say, give the writers some shrooms..... I did kinda like this last episode though. It was like, everyone get mad at each other day at the white house. But that is a temporary condition.

Well, some of you had some very good guesses, but none of you were correct. Robbie's mom and dad are flying to Denmark this week to buy a dining room table and chairs. I don't know exactly what the nature of this dining room set is, but I'm assuming that the whole ensemble is made out of solid gold, with seat cushions woven out of the throat hair of Nepalese goats, and is available for no cost whatsoever on some Danish street corner somewhere. Otherwise, I think they might be being just slightly extravagant.

(Raise your hand if you now have the theme song from "Solid Gold" running through your head. My own hand is way up.)

I got an email today from the guy I emailed to see if he needed a proofreader after I saw a profile of his company on television--you may remember this, I blogged about it about a month and a half ago, I'm guessing. The good news is that he likes my skill set, and says his company really needs someone like me. The bad news is that he can't pay me anything; it's a startup, and his whole staff has been working for no salary for the past year and a half. He said he's open to other modes of compensation, though.

So I'm thinking about it. On the one hand, no salary. On the other, it would be interesting work, the other modes of compensation might end up being lucrative, it's proofreading experience for my resume, and if they like me it's a good recommendation. I suppose it comes down to whether the other modes of compensation are like stock options or like, say, government-surplus cheese. (Actually, who am I kidding? I'd love to be paid in government-surplus cheese.)

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Robbie: In fact it is used furniture, but used furniture so much cheaper than the new furniture that it is cheaper to fly the denmark to buy the used stuff than it is to buy it new. I don't know much else about it other than it is the kind of furniture that every dane wants to have and that it is the kind of chairs that Kennedy and Nixon sat in during their debates.

Heather: Ah, at first I thought Robbie was updating us on the other modes of compensation that the guy from the startup was offering Jess. Until he got to the Denmark part, that is.

Jess: Bwahahahahaha. Between the start-up and the used furniture, I'm picturing my house filling up with dozens of Aeron chairs...

Dr. tizzed: haven't your parents heard of phoning in an order? Things can be shipped, ya know... Gummint cheese. vile, repulsive stuff. Am I the only one who has tasted this crap?

bigT: Finally I make to the famous blog - and I am thrilled! I am planning another trip to Ikea this afternoon, and I used to feel pretty slick to drive an hour to buy furniture, but Robbies parents are topping it again. There must be something about northern European furniture.

Jess: BIG T! BIG T! Oh, I'm so excited. Big T, I think they're secretly just planning to visit you. You know how everyone's parents love you...

EV: So, I'm trying to figure out how going there would be cheaper-- don't they have to ship it home anyway? Or is it so adorable that it would fit in the overhead? Actually, now that I think about it, it's still infinitely cheaper to buy a Turkish carpet in Turkey, even if you have it shipped home. You just have to do the purchasing in person. So nevermind.

Robbie: Actually, they could get it shipped sight unseen, but they are worried about the condition.....

A note to all of you: when Robbie walks into the room and says "You will not believe why my parents are going to Denmark," he's not lying.

I will personally give five dollars and a big kiss to any of you (other than Adam) who can correctly guess why Robbie's parents are going to Denmark. Put on your thinking caps...

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Robbie: Can I guess then?

Dr. tizzed: Is something rotten? And they have to pick it up? You'll never guess why I want to go to Wales in 2 weeks...

matt lippert: I'm so glad the Sedgewick's adoption finally came through. You know that infamous Danish buracracy! Hopefully, they'll remember to pick up some of that salty licorice while they're there.

Dr. J: ah hem. Salty licorice is dutch, I had some last night at the local carnival. I've just learned that it contains pig's blood. I will instead have to eat prezlels the size of my head. Denmark - Top-secret LEGO convention, pregnancy: negative.

EV: They've started a pop group that is at the top of the Danish charts, and they're going on tour. C'mon, you know I'm always right.

Chi: As I told Robbie, some sort of appliance or automobile must be involved.

robbie: Chi, I think you may have misinterpreted what I said....

Julie: Hey, maybe they just like Danish. It's not a crime. Those nice sugary walnuts...

matt lippert: Ok, I admit there is some licorice out there from Holland, but the pig's blood is dragging it down. According to the danish shop (http://www.danishshop.dk/pages/candy.htm) Danish candy is "the best candy in the world!" Henriette also informs me that Danes eat more candy per capita than anyone else.

First, a shoutout to Moremor, if s/he can hear me through all the amniotic fluid. And from 2500 miles away.

I finished my revisions! I finished my revisions! I'm very happy. I still don't know if my book is any good, but I can say now with certainty that it's as good as it's going to get, and ready to be sent to agents. (I do want to do a quick continuity edit, though, to make sure that when I say it's September and then say something happened four weeks later, I don't call that month November. I think in places I might.) I'm very nervous about sending it out, but it's time to move on, whether it gets sold or not.

Other than that, I didn't do too much today. I Krazy-glued some things that broke in the move (yes, the move from two months ago), and I didn't glue my fingers together or to the table, so that was one of life's little triumphs. I also found some jobs to apply for. Oh, and I emailed my old boss to see about the status of my possible freelancing. I know someone just quit, so that probably pushes things a little in my favor, but you never know. I haven't heard back, which is a good sign, since this is one of those organizations where "no" comes quickly but "yes" takes a while. I'll keep you all posted.

I already told her this in email today, but I'll share with the rest of you that I had a dream last night that Dr. J was pregnant with twins. (A portent of things to come? After all, twins do run in her family.) It was the dream I had right before I woke up this morning, and so when I woke up I was all charged up with this little speech that I was set to make in the dream about how she shouldn't worry about anything and I was sure they would make fantastic parents. She was also buying a dog, which I thought was probably a bad idea, but I wasn't going to be fool enough to bring that up. I think in a confused way I was thinking about my cousin, who has two kids and a new dog. And speaks German. Yeah, it's a reach.

I was talking to Heather today about her upcoming visit (it's not for another six weeks, but I'm really excited), and I asked her what she wanted to do while she was here. She said that she "just want(s) to live the legend that is (my) life," which is totally the correct answer, but it got me thinking about houseguests in general. I always find them a little stressful, not because I have to clean the house or find sheets, because I think I'm pretty good at all that, but because I have to find ways to amuse them.

My fundamental problem--I think it's usually my fundamental problem in any situation, in fact--is that I don't think I like to do what other people like to do. Maybe I do, but I don't think I do, and so I don't know what to suggest. For example, I don't really like shopping, but I'm of the impression that lots of people do. So should I take people shopping? That's fine, but not being a great shopper, I'm never sure exactly where people would like to go. There's also sightseeing, but frankly I'm not sure how that even works. If you drive you're just sitting in a car, which I don't mind but I think other people do, and if you do a walking tour you always end up having to walk further than you'd had in mind, and no one ever wears the right shoes, and it usually just turns into shopping anyhow. There are museums, and I like museums, but the places I've lived so far don't tend to have spectacularly excellent museums (unless you like dinosaurs, or Andy Warhol, in which case Pittsburgh is actually pretty good), so I always feel like we should be doing something more locally appropriate.

There's a bigger question, also, about whether your friends want to see you doing what you actually do most of the time, or whether they want to do touristy things. With Heather I have confidence that she does actually want to see me doing what I actually do, because we spent a lot of time together in Santa Barbara doing nothing in particular and so I can imagine that she'd like to do the same but relocated, but I'm not always that confident. This was an issue in Santa Barbara with the beach. We never went to the beach when people weren't visiting, and I liked going when we had guests, but I always felt weirdly inauthentic doing it, and I didn't know where the good beaches were and I was always surprised to see dolphins and I generally lacked a native attitude to the whole thing.

The parts of a visit I think I'm good at are the parts where you just sit around and talk about what's happened since you last saw the person who's visiting, and maybe eat something. That stuff I can handle, and actually enjoy. The rest of it, though, I don't know. Maybe Tizzed will have to be our guinea pig--I know he wants to go to Ikea, so that's something, and I figure after that I can drop him at the horse races and that'll be that. Unless they're closed in November, in which case I guess we'll have to go on a walking tour or hit the boutiques.

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EV: I have the same problems, I generally try to just spend the time going from eating establishment to eating establishment (coffee place for scones, deli for sandwiches, ice cream place, back to coffee place for coffee, etc.)

Dr. tizzed: I hate horse races. too unpredictable. Whenever I had people visiting in SB, I just showed them around. Methinks that you'll have more fun just going around the city, seeing stuff and chatting than anything else. Although thats harder to do in Pittsburgh in November than in SB in June..

Julie: Gosh, did I stress you out when I visited SB? I thought we had a jolly good time. I like Trading Spaces. Really. No we like cooked and saw 8 Mile and went around SB. Good times. I think you're aces.

Jess: You were actually the least stressful houseguest ever, although I will admit to being stressed out before you got there. You were a good mix of willing to go along with our ideas and willing to come up with your own. But I think the success of that visit rests squarely on your shoulders. When Evie and Jesse came we did just go around eating all the time, and that worked well too.

To readers from the Princeton class of '98: have any of you noticed that Andy Pettite and Jorge Posada look uncannily like the Ben Grad and Noah Schenkler? I found this comforting during the Red Sox series, mostly because it made me think that the two of them might knock off early from the game and go get roaring drunk in matching T-shirts.

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Chi: hmmm, I don't see the resemblance. Don't really remember what Noah looks like though.

You know what's the worst? A yard sale with all sorts of riffraff showing up, going through your stuff and trying to buy it. Fortunately, that is not the sort of yard sale we had.

Despite the poor yard sale attendance, though, the day went pretty well. We did sell some stuff, and in getting ready for the yard sale we were able to organize some of my parents' basement, so that was good. We also brought home some of our wedding presents that had been in the basement for the past two years, and the metal bookcase.

It was fun going through the wedding presents, actually. We'd left all the fragile and bulky gifts that people brought to the wedding at my parents' house rather than taking them back to California on a plane, and I remembered most of them, but there were a couple that I'd totally forgotten about. I think I threw out the list of who gave us what, which is too bad, since now I'm curious.

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EOL: From my standpoint, these were the virtues of today's sale: we got to hang around with you guys all day; the garage is emptier; I finished most of the laundry since I was downstairs anyway; Dottie got to put stuff outside, which she wanted to do; Collin got to try out some cool toys, which he wanted to do; Katie got to walk straight up a tree, which she didn't know she wanted to do until she tried it; and Ethel said it felt like a party.

Jess: And it is true that most of the people who did come bought things. And some of them bought things I thought would never sell, ever (like the Java manuals, and the package of combs).

EOL: That's right. And we get to keep the walrus-tusked rabbit over the winter.

Chi, were you the one who recommended Lost in Translation? We saw it tonight and I agree--it's a great movie. This was our apartment-complex trip, and I think everyone else liked it, though possibly not as much as I did.

After the movie, we all went next door to a very small (four-table) Argentinian coffee shop. We had good pastries, and were sitting around chatting when suddenly, the couple at the table next to us, a big bearded academic-looking guy and an Asian woman, got up, requested music, and started to tango around the cafe. It was pretty odd, since we were in a space smaller than our living room and as there were seven of us, we were taking up most of it. Also, although it served Argentinian pastries and was run by Argentinians, ambiance-wise it was indistinguishable from any other coffee shop I've ever been to, and I've never seen anyone tango in, say, a Starbucks. The couple seemed to think it was perfectly appropriate behavior, though, and since I've never been there before, I guess I can't say they were wrong.

I like the people in our complex, or at least this subset, more and more. They're all really nice. We're going to try to get together for a game night next--one of the other residents, actually the wife of Dave the Key Man, said she's a Trivial Pursuit fan. I got pretty excited about that, but then she said she wasn't very good, and I hope she's just being modest because I'd love to find a worthy Trivial Pursuit adversary. (Other than my dad, but he's a little too worthy sometimes.)

I'm throwing this little factoid in knowing full well that there are some of you (Evie, obviously) who'll make fun of me for pointing it out, but at the movie theater we spontaneously sat in apartment order, left to right like we are on the street, and that struck me as a classic logic problem clue. You know, like the kind of problems on the LSAT? (Robbie informs me that they're also on the GRE.) Like that.

Tomorrow is the yard sale. Dottie and Ethel seemed to be starting a repricing rampage when I left today, so I don't know the extent of their changes to the prices we set, but I'll find out tomorrow. I guess it doesn't matter--it's all their stuff, and they're getting the money for it anyhow, and if it doesn't sell it's not my problem--but I think some of the prices are kind of unlikely. We'll see.

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Chi: yeah, I loved that movie (Lost in Translation). I've been recommending it to everybody. Emily was translating some of the Japanese for me so that helped out a lot too! (although it's just as funny not knowing what's being said)

EV: Ha ha! (said in Nelson tone)

Dr. Tizzed: Never played me in trivial pursuits... As you could guess, my life is chock full of trivial pursuits, ergo I am good at that game. I am also selectively psychic.. see my WS prediction on this very blog!

Jess: Let's play, then. I'm dead certain you'll beat me at the sports category, but I'm not so sure about the others...

I tried to like Coupling, I really did. I like the British version. But it's just not happening for me. I think it's the acting--it's hard to like the jokes when you've heard them once before from better actors.

Today I worked on the yard sale with my mom. For a while we were at my cousin's going through some things that are still in the house from when my great-aunts lived there, but progress was slow once her kids discovered that the room they aren't usually allowed to go in was both open and chock-full of toys. Then we labeled things for the rest of the afternoon. We found a whole box full of demented crafts--my favorite was a rabbit made of little puffs, with walrus tusks and only one ear. I think now that my great-aunts may have gotten kicked out of the senior citizens' center on suspicion of hallucinogen use.

Oh, and I got to meet my cousin's new dog. (Well, technically it's a used dog, but it's new to them.) She's a basset hound and very cute, and likes to attack slippers. My cousin said she also stole Dottie's purse when she was visiting yesterday, which is sort of an odd trait in a dog, but potentially useful.

Tonight I have to finish up with the paper I'm proofreading, since my friend is picking it up tomorrow afternoon. Then tomorrow it's more yard sale. I was hoping that by not being home yesterday afternoon, today, and tomorrow, I'd get a call back on that job I applied for, but so far, nothing. We'll see.

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Heather: I hate Coupling. A lot. I've never seen the British version, though.

Jess: The British version has a lot of very obvious jokes, but somehow the actors still make them funny. You end up laughing in spite of yourself. Because the actors on the American version aren't as good, the same jokes just fall flat.

I wish my blog had smell-o-vision, so you all could smell the fantastic shampoo that my hairdresser used on me today. I've been all Herbal Essence-y since I got back. In addition, I'm now root-free. I really like what he did with my color, since I think it's more subtle and better suited to Pittsburgh in winter. He feels, and I agree with him, that winter is a time for muted hair color. He also tried to talk my mom into getting highlights (lowlights, actually) and I think he may have been successful.

While my hairdresser was starting in on me, my mom was waiting in the manicure/pedicure area, and she got a coupon for $10 off any manicure or pedicure from the manicurist on duty. She doesn't like to get manicures or pedicures, and so she gave it to me, and that would be great because I do feel like a pedicure, except that the manicurist is an 18-year-old guy. I can't put my finger on why I don't want to get a pedicure from an 18-year-old guy, but I think it would be weird. Maybe Pulp Fiction was right about this.

There's a rumor that we may see some snow showers overnight--it was on the weather two days ago, then off, then they just said it again. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. On the one hand, I'd be pretty excited to see flakes outside the window, but on the other, it's October. October. I have no theoretical issue with winter, but it just seems awfully soon, right? It was just August, and now here we are. Plus, I can't remember to wear a coat ever. For a while I'd forgotten about the whole concept of sweaters, and now I think I've gotten that down, but I keep going outside in a nice thick sweater and jeans and still being unbelievably cold, which just seems cruel. I'm sure I'll get it all down by March or so.

I scored six points in a squash game against Robbie tonight. It's a new record. Three more and I'll really be getting somewhere.

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EV: It was snowing here this morning. I am so unhappy.

Chi: 80 degrees and sunny today in SF.

Today I set out to have a bloggable day, and I mostly succeeded. I got my editing work done early in the day, and then I puttered around doing a variety of things. Most notably, I made whole wheat bread, which rose freakishly high, and I went to the gym. Three in the afternoon is definitely the right time to go to the gym--there were no more than two other people there for the 40 minutes of my workout.

Because it was empty, I felt comfortable trying the elliptical cross-trainer with arm action. It made me feel even more stupid-looking than the regular elliptical, but it was a great workout. It never ceases to amaze me that doing basically a mincing, prancing step can burn so many calories, but I'm not about to complain. I also did the recumbent bike, which was good and would have been great were it not for the gas problems of the old man on the treadmill in front of me. This is a problem I never had at UCSB--not that young, attractive people never have these problems, but at least they usually hear themselves and stop instead of going on and on for fifteen minutes.

My high school friend came over tonight and dropped off her paper for me to proofread. It looks pretty good, which is good for her, but bad for anyone who's getting paid by the hour for proofreading services. I need to find some people who are more illiterate if I'm ever going to earn a living, I fear.

I got giddy today when I saw decaf Raspberry Royale tea at the grocery store and decided this was the time to break myself of my caffeine addiction, because the raspberry tea had been the one thing I felt I couldn't really give up. I decided to go cold turkey, though, and now I think that may have been a mistake. I think I'm going to have a cup of coffee and start anew tomorrow on a more moderate plan.

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EV: Giving up caffeine is for sissies. Elliptical trainers with arm-action are fabulous. In fact I might just go hop on one very soon. Seeing as I can't seem to do any work anyway.

There will be no post today, for the following reason: I've been sitting on the sofa with my computer for the past half-hour trying to come up with something interesting that happened today, and there isn't anything, and that's depressing me. So far the only real contender is that I ate a good piece of pumpkin pie (in my defense, however, it was a really good piece), and even a literary genius couldn't wring much content out of one good piece of pie.* In order to keep my even keel, therefore, I'm going to remain blog-free. Tomorrow I'll go split the atom or rob a bank or something, and we'll be back in the good days of lengthy, content-laden blogging.

*There are some of you who are dying to say something now about Proust and madeleines. Rest assured that I already know who you are, and am marveling at your erudition at this very moment.**

**Also, I am a bit cranky. Just ask Robbie.

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Dr. tizzed: Robbie gave me crap for blogging about a good piece of carrot cake. That's all. just be aware...

Heather: Hey, you talked to me for 42 minutes yesterday. Surely that was interesting! OK, not as interesting as pumpking pie, but still....

Heather: Or even pumpkin pie, I suppose.

Chi: "there will be no blog post today for the following reason..." hmmm, when is a blog entry not a blog entry? the philosophical implications are killing me!

Jess: True. But like 30 minutes of that was harshing on the Morfolk. Not that that's not interesting, but it lacks crowd appeal.
It was really good pie. And, hmm, there's another 3/4 of it in my refrigerator right now...

I got to thinking that my font was too large, so I made it smaller. Is anyone having a hard time reading it now, or having any other problems? Let me know.

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EV: Oh boy, am I ever having problems. It all started in like the 5th grade... oh, you mean problems with the site. I like the smaller font, but I would put a line break between your paragraphs. Have a nice evening.

Jess: Is this about the big-kissing? I thought you ironed that all out. I'll start that. Heather did that when she guest-blogged, and you're right, it was aesthetically pleasing.

EV: The big kissing was after 6th grade. But thanks for bringing that up.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. When we got back from my parents' house, I was struck by extreme, inexplicable sleepiness. It actually persisted into this afternoon--I got something like 11 hours of sleep last night and still had a hard time waking up--but after three sodas and two chocolate cupcakes at the landlords' party, I think I'll be good for a while tonight.
It's been a fun weekend. Yesterday I took a five-mile walk around the lake with my high school friend. I haven't done that since maybe early college, and it was nice to see how they've changed the area to make it more bike- and pedestrian-friendly. After that, we did yard sale labeling for the rest of the afternoon, and then went out for Indian food with my parents. I hadn't had good Indian food since we left Santa Barbara, and I think I hadn't had any for a while before then, so it really fulfilled a craving.
This morning, after I dragged my sorry self out of bed, we watched three episodes of "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica." In case you've never heard of this, it follows the lives of two pop stars, Jessica Simpson and Nick something-something, who just got married. I highly recommend this show to any recently wed couples who want to feel superior. Actually, although Jessica seems like pretty hard going, I liked Nick OK. He's a little too attractive to be reasonable, but he seemed to really enjoy going to Home Depot and buying bee spray and a power outlet, and I found that endearing.
Then we took a walk around Schenley Park, and then we went to the landlords' party. I'd told Robbie that I wasn't sure what to do with myself at a party that wasn't entirely populated with physicists, since I haven't been at a party like that in years, but it ended up being OK, because they were all computer scientists. Afterwards Robbie pointed out some minute differences in the relative taxonomy of their geekdom, but for my part I have to say, potato, potato. I really liked everyone, though--not everyone in the complex was there, but I think five of the nine apartments were represented, and then the landlords as well. Our landlords left kind of early because they have a very cute four-year-old and two-year-old who went into complete water-spitting frosting-smearing sugar meltdown, but the rest of us hung around for longer, and we had a great time. We're going to take a trip as a complex to see Lost in Translation sometime this week, we think.
Scratch what I said earlier about being able to stay up late. It's 9:50 and I'm already fading.

So I was watching ABC Family today, as is my wont between 5 and 5:30 when "Switched" is on, and I saw a commercial for an ABC Family original movie that will be on this Sunday, about an overweight Jewish girl who competes in a local beauty pageant. The pageant: Miss Squirrel Hill. Now, I don't think any of us should do anything rash like watch this ABC Family original movie, since it has Fran Drescher and it wasn't even filmed in Pittsburgh, but I'm still excited that my city, and even better my very neighborhood, is appearing on TV. Sure, ABC Family is a lowly start, but it could spread to other members of the Go network--ESPN could start covering the JCC squash circuit, and with the demise of John Ritter, ABC could retitle the show "Eight Simple Rules For Driving Past The Private Episcopal School At 3:30 In The Afternoon Without Hitting A Crazed Soccer Mom Driving A Volvo." Oh, the possibilities are endless.
Other than this excitement, today was a pretty normal day. My mom and I went out to lunch and to the big-box stores across the river, which she'd never been to before. Fortunately, our Target matches her Target in floor plan almost exactly, so there were no orientation problems. Oh, as we were having lunch, I saw the most remarkable thing--three sisters and a brother, all under the age of five, sitting at their table in an orderly fashion and talking amongst themselves, waiting for their parents to bring them lunch. No yelling, no throwing, no roughhousing of any sort. It was really amazing. At first I wanted to go up to the parents and ask them how they do it, because that might be a useful skill to have someday, but then when they did get there with the food, the children all sat and ate lunch in perfect silence. Not a peep, not for maybe twenty minutes. Even I, who prize well-behaved children beyond all reason, thought that was a little creepy, especially when they all started staring at me, silently, and kept munching on their sandwiches. Something wasn't right with that.
Tomorrow I'm going for a walk with my high school friend while Robbie and my dad watch Kill Bill, and then we're labeling items for (imagine this in a monster-truck voice) the Mega! Mega! Mega! Yard Sale next Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! at the Civic Arena! Arena! Arena! (Well, actually, my parents' driveway.) So, that should be good clean fun. Then on Sunday our landlords are having a barbecue for our complexlet. I suspect this will either be raging good fun or awful, although I suppose there's a possibility of it being mediocre. Our in-house neighbors are pleasant and seem considerate but they're quiet, and I don't really know anyone else yet, so I don't know what to expect from them.

It's the bottom of the ninth and I had to leave the living room. I don't know how really hard-core sports fans do it--I think I'm heading for an ulcer just based on the last two weeks. So I'm hiding in the bedroom and blogging instead.
Today's closet cleaning went very well. We've expanded our focus to the whole bedroom, since the closet is getting in fairly good shape, and so we cleaned all the clothes off the top of my mom's cedar chest, sorted some books, and got rid of a big bag of clothing. I think the biggest problem facing us right now is book storage, but my mom is going to try to get rid of some books at next week's yard sale, so that should help a bit. My mom also has a bit of an addiction to turtlenecks, which is compounded by the fact that she has nowhere to put them and so generally keeps them all in a stack on a chair, but we'll work on that too.
My mom and I also went through some cookie cutters and candy molds with my great-aunts, trying to get some ready for the garage sale. (My mom was also trying to pawn some off on me.) This was a singularly odd experience. As most of you know, my great-aunt Dottie plays a little fast and loose with reality these days, and today, although she was in a very good mood and fun to be around, I had only a vague sense of what she was talking about most of the time. It went something like this:
Mom (holding up cookie cutter, speaking loudly and clearly): ELEPHANT.
Jess: I don't want it. Put it in the bag. PUT IT IN THE BAG. I'm not taking it.
Dottie: Now you clean those up and they'll be worth something. When you were three, you were sitting on the top of the stairs watching the television repairman, and you said, "A woman can do that." You'll be sorry if you throw those out. Now when you have a kid, you sit them down with a mold, and then you make Santas.
Mom (holding up new cookie cutter): GINGERBREAD MAN WITH A HAT.
Jess: Put it IN THE BAG. No. I'm not taking it. THE BAG.
Dottie: Seventeen months old and I hear you saying "A B C D E F G." Now that's real tin. You go into her back room and it's a blackout. It's a blackout room. There's stuff up to the ceiling. Now do you think that's right?
Mom: CAMEL.
In the end, we had three good bags for the yard sale, and Dottie extracted a promise from me that when I start making cookies and chocolates in bulk, and am sorry that I allowed so many molds to go to the garage sale, I'll remember that she told me so. You all may hold me to that.
Ah, Robbie tells me that the Yankees just won. So, we went from possibly having one team in the World Series that last won in 1908 and one that last won in 1918 to one that last won in 1997 and one that last won in 2000. What an incredibly compelling drama, and what riveting television this will make.

Comments
robbie: Taken from the user comments on the next lord of the rings movie from www.rottentomatoes.com: You realize that rooting for the Yankees is equivalent to rooting for Sauron to win the battle for Middle Earth, don't you? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! DIE YANKEES DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Chi: yeah, it's too bad the Sox lost, but I have to say that Pedro had it coming to him -- really, way too much bad karma from his game 3 antics. Grady Little is a moron for sure though. I actually don't have much against the Yankees (they beat the Braves twice in the WS which is fantastic) but I agree Sox-Cubs would have been great. Oh well, maybe next year.

EV: Charles, just shut up and go home. We don't need any of your win-some lose-some Pollyanna crap here.

Jess: Whoa, that was a bit harsh. Chi, if you mean the pointing at the head thing, yeah, that was over the top. If you mean the Don Zimmer thing, though, I disagree--Zimmer was the one earning the bad karma there. (Although Tizzed's sure that the Marlins are going to win, so maybe Zimmer's bad karma is just taking a while to come around.)

Dr. tizzed: Marlins in 6

Chi: actually, I meant the trying to kill a guy with a 96 MPH fastball to the head routine from Pedro. Pointing at the head was just not classy, and I had forgotten about the Zimmer thing (which was obviously Zimmer's fault). I just can't respect a guy who's so incredibly good and then relies on crap like that just because he's getting hit a little bit. Sorry EV, but hey, I'm just a Dodgers fan.

EV: Oh my god, you're also a Dodgers fan?! I was about to apologize for my post-Sox-loss cruelty, but since the only other team I'm a fan of is the Padres, I've now reconsidered.

OK, I'm going to admit it--I like Hideki Matsui. I think the rest of the Yankees (and, fine, maybe one or two of the Red Sox) look like nasty punks, but Matsui seems reasonable. And I liked it a few games ago when he did the tricky thing where he looked like he was about to catch the ball, even though it was way over the wall, so the Red Sox runner watching him would stop running. That was pretty clever. I'm hoping the Pirates drop the rest of their roster, shake the change out of their cushions, and just hire him next year as a one-man team. Hey, I'd go.
Other than my newfound interest in Matsui, though, I'm still a stalwart Red Sox fan. I wasn't too hopeful when I started watching tonight's game, but in the end it was a fun game to watch. I especially enjoyed it because of the wind factor, and all the trash blowing across the field. Now I'm watching the Cubs game. (I suppose you can tell who I'm rooting for by the fact that I'm not referring to it as the Marlins game.) I feel pretty sorry for the fan who grabbed the ball last night and indirectly cost the game for the Cubs, although it was a bonehead maneuver. It seems like something I might do, just because I wasn't thinking. Apparently he had to have his phone disconnected and everything.
Oh, I applied for a job today. I don't want to get my hopes up, because I've applied for a lot of jobs lately that I was sure I'd get interviews for and didn't, but I think it would be a great job. It's a writing position at CMU--it looks like it would have some variety, with writing for a website, and some grants, and some other things.
Tomorrow is closet cleaning, round three. I'm also thinking that I'll stop off at the quilt store near my parents' house and look at fabrics for the quilt I want to make for our bed. We picked out a pattern--a spinning four-patch, which should be fun because it has triangles and the last quilt we made was just squares--and I'm thinking it'll either be in red and white or blue and white. I'd originally wanted to make a quilt in yellow and green, because those are my favorite colors, but I think a bright color and white will look a little crisper and nicer. I'm going to go with Robbie when we actually get fabrics, because he has a much better eye for color than I do, but I want to check out their selection.

Comments
Matthew Lippert: Go Sox! It's about time they remembered how to hit.

EV: Yeah, now Lippert tones down his Sox-bashing. And also, I am constantly amazed at the mystery wrapped in an enigma that is Robbie. The idea of him having anything whatsoever to do with a quilt vision makes me snort my oatmeal (I am, in fact, eating oatmeal as I type).

EOL: (This is actually Jess, I'm at my mom's house.) Tizzed is the Sox-basher. Lippert is from Lexington, and definitely not a Sox-basher. Tizzed is probably all weepy about the Cubs, though, and that's why he hasn't replied to this blog yet. When we made our quilt for Heather and Matt, I picked out the pattern and color scheme and did all the cutting and the hand sewing, but Robbie picked out the fabrics and did a lot of the machine sewing. He sews straighter than I do, because I'm always rushing.

EV: Oh. Sorry Lippert. I just got confused. Yeah, I guess Robbie would have the calm collectiveness needed for straight sewing. Seeing as I can't even hem blanket with a sewing machine, though, I'm not one to judge these things. By the way, Jess, even if your mom's computer cookies make her the default commenter, you can just change the name in the boxes. Unless you know that an you're just lazy.

Adam: I liked Matsui when he threw Nomar's hit into the stands. That was cool.

Dr. tizzed: Sox basher? Not tonight. I put my money on Pedro -110 for game 7, so I guess I am a red sox fan. My loyalties go where my money is.. (I even bet against the packers this weekend, though I didn't openly root against them) Beware. The Marlins will win the world series. Seriously. They've been the best team in baseball since July. Sad about the cubs, but not too sa Matsui = irabu = overrated.

Jess: Yeah, I figured I'd leave it as is so she wouldn't have to change it back. Yet another example of my overwhelming filial piety.
I'm really dreading the possibility of a Marlins-Yankees series. Not just because I'm a Red Sox fan--I just think it'd be really dull. Yankees-Cubs would have been much better (and Red Sox-Cubs would've been fantastic...)

Robbie: Jess can't sew straight because she drinks while she sews.

The voicemail problem has now been fixed, since Robbie had the right number programmed into his new phone. I'm no longer angry at AT&T, and all is right with the world.
So, on to my weekend report. Saturday night we went to a picnic at Chris' family's house, and that was great. Among the highlights: very tasty Italian food, homemade wine made by Chris' dad, and photos of Chris with hair. Lots and lots of hair. I studied them for a while, and while it was pretty cute on a kid, I think he really lucked out by losing it as an adult. Now he looks distinguished and countercultural, and generally like an interesting guy, but I think if he'd kept it there would have been a real Welcome Back Kotter vibe. I also learned at the picnic that there are a bunch of people (Colleen, for one) who read this blog that I didn't know about. Pretty cool. Chris' little cousins were all running around, and while one of them was way, way too excited about the Yankees, the rest were cute. The flowergirl especially. Her name is Francesca, which is a perfectly good name, but she let us all know that she'd prefer to be addressed as Frankie Doughnuts or, ideally, as Pony.
The next day was the big wedding, and it was pleasing in every way. The ceremony was informal, but very heartfelt, and I thought it really suited them. The DJ was good, the boat was pretty, and the weather stayed nice. Also, the food was excellent. I'm going to come right out and admit that as much as I like the lovey-dovey and the whatnot (and this wedding certainly fulfilled on that count as well), what I really care about at weddings are the appetizers, and here this wedding positively shone. There were these roasted red pepper things that just--oh, so good. And there was a cheese tray. The favors were also great--bottles of wine and CDs with songs that the bride and groom like.
Yesterday we got on the road a little late, but we'd taken the extra time to get a carpet and a bookshelf from Robbie's parents' attic, so it was worth it. However, when we stopped to get coffee at around 5 there was a truck driver running around telling everyone that he'd just heard that the turnpike had closed down about ten miles west because of a major accident, and that everyone should take alternate routes. We got off the turnpike at the next exit and drove around south-central Pennsylvania for about an hour and a half trying to negotiate a detour. At first it was scenic, with the barns and the cows and the sunset, but then we got lost in Chambersburg. If any of you understand the traffic patterns of Chambersburg, let me know. Also, if any of you know how much pot a town has to be collectively smoking for passing motorists to smell it in their car for a good five minutes, let me know that too. Once we got on the correct road, we crossed the mountains that the turnpike tunnels under, which meant extremely slow going, since all the trucks had also diverted to this route. At the peak of the trip (geographically speaking--emotionally it was a real nadir), we drove at a crawl for about half an hour along a one-lane mountain road that was being excavated, with explosive charges and big signs to turn off cell phones in the blast area and the whole works. Eventually we got home, but about an hour and a half later than we'd predicted.
So that was our big weekend of fun. Now I'm just getting excited for the Red Sox game...

Comments
Dr. Tizzed: Roasted red peppers + basil + goat cheese + olive oil on toasted french bread = yum

An update:

I looked at the messages more closely, and I think that the person who had this number before me had just subscribed to Yahoo Alerts on some sort of maxi-alert basis, and then didn't bother to unsubscribe when he changed numbers. So although I'm still annoyed at the general slackjaw-yokelness of the world, that part was not at all AT&T's fault. And I think I've successfully unsubscribed now, although I'm not sure.
The voicemail, though? Still a little annoyed about that. But the morning is still young, and AT&T may have a chance to totally redeem themselves.

I've been up since 5:30. Actually, I've been out of bed since 5:30, but up quite a bit longer, since every half-hour starting at about 3 a.m., my new cell phone, which I'd left in the bedroom to charge, started beeping loudly and blinking for about a minute each time.
At first I thought that I'd somehow mistakenly set my phone to some sort of alarm setting when I was playing with it before bed, but finally I got up and staggered across the room to the windowsill, where I'd left it, and I discovered that I was in fact getting spam text messages. Yup. I'd had my phone on since maybe midnight, and I'd gotten seven of them. Fantastic. I can't even begin to tell you how excited this makes me, and how much I'm looking forward to the next two years of cell phone service.
So, anyhow, I was up, and I went and looked online and saw that AT&T doesn't charge for incoming text messages, and I was cheered to find out that my one text message per half hour for the next two years would only drive me completely insane and not put me in the poorhouse, and so I decided, since I was up, to set up my phone. I puttered along for a while, really enjoying the new features, since my last phone was about four years old, and then I went to set up my voicemail. I hit the 1 key to call the programmed voicemail number, just like the instructions said, and got a "save voice mail no. first" message. Apparently AT&T forgot to program it in or something. Evidently this is the first time this has ever, ever happened, because the voicemail number isn't in any of the five booklets that came with my phone, and it's not anywhere on the AT&T website that I could find. Bravo, AT&T. Way to go.
So I guess I'll wait until Robbie wakes up and try to get the number from him, and if he doesn't have it I'll call customer service. I'm pretty unimpressed so far, though. Too bad we couldn't keep Cingular out here, but they don't have any local plans.
The wedding was very nice. I'll fill you in later when I'm not ready to strangle the entire cellular phone industry.

Yes, I will guest-blog! I don't have a lot to say, but now that we have our fancy-dancy wireless network set up, I might as well put it to use. Matt is sitting on the couch now with his laptop, reading all of Tizzed's blog entries since early September. He plans to tackle Jess's next. We'll see how far he gets.

This weekend, Jess and Robbie are attending the last of the Santa Barbara weddings. Well, the wedding is in Philadelphia, but Jenny and Chris, the people getting married, are Santa Barbara people. And of course there's plenty of room in our hearts for any potential future SB weddings, but what I mean is that Jenny and Chris's wedding marks the end of the extended period of official and INS-endorsed engagements that started when Robbie and Jess got cell phones, er, got engaged oh so long ago. Well, there was a half-year between their wedding and Matt's and my engagement, but then in rapid succesion came Buebbles and Helen's engagement, Julie and Tobias's and shortly thereafter, Chris and Jenny's. And then there was J&T's wedding, and then mine and Matt's, B&H's and now J&C's. Anyway, it feels to me like another end of another era. And to Jenny and Chris, who probably don't even read this blog, best wishes and congratulations. I can't wait to see pictures, and I mean that. I love looking at other people's wedding pictures.

In other news, Matt and I could not figure out why there was no baseball on TV today. I was supposed to report on the score for Jess, since she'd be enjoying the nuptial celebrations on a boat in Philadelphia. We finally gave up and turned the TV off. We started to figure that Fox thought that the residents of the great state of California wouldn't care about a Red Sox/Yankees game anyway, and chose instead to air some old movie. It was only when Matt's brother called some time later did we learn that the game had been rained out. So, I guess it will wait for another day, but by then Jess should have access to the score, herself.

Why, oh why doesn't the the University of California recognize Columbus Day as an official holiday? I could use a three-day weekend. Of course, we in the Gwinn group would have group meeting tomorrow anyway, so it wouldn't matter, but at least aerobics would be cancelled, and I wouldn't feel guilty leaving early. Oh well.

Okay, goodnight, everybody. For those of you who have tomorrow off, enjoy!

Comments
EOL: A guest blog! I'm glad you did it - it's good to hear about you guys.

Dr. tizzed: I feel sorry for Matt. anybody so bored as to read my blog for entertainment, with all of the other options on the internet has some serious problems...

I'm in Princeton and can't blog for long, but I wanted to share this with all of you. It's the craze that's sweeping the nation, or at least the Sedgewicks.

Well, we're off for our weekend of seafaring nuptials. I'll be back with a full report Monday night. (Hey Heather, you want to guest-blog again? You know how, if you want to.)

I failed yesterday to mention that Tizzed now has his Ph.D., although many of you may have inferred this from the comments. This raises the number of physics Ph.D.s reading my blog to four (and Gwinn group Ph.D.s to three), but I can assure you that there will be no change in content as a result. I will continue to refrain from telling the "simple Pole in a complex plane" joke, for example. (For one thing, it's a math joke. But that's as close as I can get.)
I think my McSweeney's submission is ready. I just read over the cover letter, and I think it makes me sound interesting without being too precious. I was worried about the precious factor after the first draft, but I did some trimming, and now I think it's OK. Now to print it all out. I don't think I'm going to make it to the post office today, but I'll go first thing in the morning, and that should be plenty of time, since I'll take it to the window.
Tomorrow afternoon we're leaving for New Jersey, where we're going to a wedding on a boat. (Well, technically the wedding on a boat is in Philadelphia.) I'm looking forward to the wedding, especially because it's the first wedding I've ever attended that is being performed by someone who was ordained over the internet, and I'm also looking forward to seeing my brother-in-law, who I'm sure by now is six foot ten and shaving three times a day.
The one down side is that both the wedding on Sunday and the pre-wedding picnic on Saturday conflict with Red Sox-Yankees games. Matt, have you come up with some sort of contingency plan for this? Maybe stationing some bum with a transistor and a flashlight on the dock to signal a variant of "one if by land, two if by sea"? They teach you how to do that in Massachusetts schools, right? We could try to work something out with my brother-in-law and text messages, but he'll probably be wandering around the neighborhood bench-pressing cars and kicking sand at weaklings, so I don't think that's a reliable system.
That reminds me that Robbie and I had a lively discussion the other day about which Sedgewick brother would be which Strong -ad character, plus the Cheat. The only thing I was sure about was that Brett would be Strong Mad, but Robbie wasn't even sure about that. We also had a lively discussion the other day about which of our male friends, if female, would have big chests, and there we had more agreement. For example, we agreed that Niki would, but only because he would have breast augmentation. It's nice when the two of us can come together like that.

Comments
Heather: Yikes, I forgot all about the baseball games. I'm doing a really bad job as the only Yankees fan in the world. It's not that I don't like the Red Sox. Actually, in a lot of ways they appeal to me more than the Yankees do. It's just that I grew up in the state of New York, where people tend to be Yankees fans. Some people, anyway.

Jess: Purely from a geographical standpoint, though, it should be a wash for you, as they are more or less equidistant. I was going to say that you do talk like a New Yorker, but it's not a downstate New Yorker, so that's not really evidence for either side.

Heather: Yeah, I was going to go into the geographic inconsistencies in my first comment, but I was limited to 400 characters. It's true--before college I think I'd only been to NYC once, and that was for a trip to the Bronx Zoo in fourth grade with my Girl Scout troop. We used to go to Boston fairly regularly, though.

Chi: You guys have weird discussions. (Robbie and Jess, I mean)

Today I had a headache. This isn't just a complaint; this is quite literally what I did with my day. I had a headache, and all I did, all day, was try to get rid of it. The following things did not work: caffeine, sixteen glasses of water, a dark room, complete silence, a nice hot shower, two Aleve, the pillow trick. What worked, I discovered at around three in the afternoon, was Lipton's chicken noodle soup. At least for a little while. Later, I was able to fend it off again with two slices of pizza.
I did work on my McSweeney's submission, and I'm planning to get it completely ready to send tomorrow, since I also have a rough draft of my cover letter done (although that needs work). It's going to be about eighty pages total, and I'm pretty sure they don't want it printed on two sides, so it'll be a substantial envelope.
If you subscribe to some sort of premium-channel sports service, can you watch the games with no commentary whatsoever? Because I'm really starting to get sick of the Fox people. I guess I need some level of explanation, because I'm not that good at the rules of baseball yet, but maybe just a little sign in the corner of the screen that flashes "FOUL" or "WALK" or so forth when appropriate. I guess if you watch a lot of sports you must get used to it.

Comments
Dr. Tizzed: Sometimes with friends we turn down the volume on sports to nothing and then talk over people. In fact I was encouraged to do this during college at times because I was vastly more entertaining than the real people...

Jess: Dr. Tizzed! Please tell me that you're just stopping by my blog on your way out for a night of celebration...

Chi: Caffeine didn't get rid of your headache? really? Weird.

tizzed: The celebration begins in earnest once I get to Vegas today. I didn't even sip alcohol yesterday..

Jess : Yeah, I figured either caffeine or water would work. But no. Dr. T, I think that's wise. Better to give up a little celebration yesterday than to be hung over and miserable in Vegas. Now you can just be hung over and miserable in the flat states.

EOL: Once, I watched a whole evening of Olympics with the sound turned off and some CDs playing. It was great - and fun trying to match the music to the sport. (And congratulations to Dr. T!)

Jess: The Olympics are the worst, because they have all those human-interest stories thrown in.

My mom told me once that she thought you could tell a future successful artist or singer or writer (or stockbroker or architect or whatever too, I guess) by whether they got up every morning and did what they needed to do that day to become a successful artist, singer, or writer. She based this on a friend of hers, who always wanted to be an opera singer (and eventually was a pretty successful one). According to her, even in high school, he was doing the things he'd need to do each day to become a professional singer, although the goal was still years away.
With this in mind, let's examine what I've done today.
1. Had breakfast.
2. Posed large poseable ant figurines that we got in our goodie bags on Sunday in inappropriate poses, and placed them on bathroom windowsill for Robbie to find.
3. Collected laundry and quarters in quarter jar, and went through every receptacle in the house looking for four additional quarters. Found three.
4. Got extra quarter out of car.
5. Put laundry in.
6. Ate lunch: grapes, tortilla chips and salsa, and piece of cheese.
7. Moved laundry. Had fit of wanting to be like the woman in the Wal-Mart commercial who says, "I may not be making my family money, but I'm sure saving us money," and put two washers' worth of laundry into one dryer.
8. Edited twenty pages. Checked email approximately every third paragraph.
9. Retrieved decidedly undry laundry. Covered all available surfaces in damp clothing.
10. Admired ant figurines. Rearranged slightly to make more inappropriate.
11. Tried to work on new book.
12. Made envelope for McSweeney's submission.
13. Ate olives. Wondered if I could blog about my love affair with olives.
14. Got email from Heather. Wrote back saying my new book is no good. Found and typed out Wallace Stegner quote that explains exactly why it is no good.
15. Decided to scrap all but first day's work on new book. I did see this coming, but it's still disappointing.
16. Cleaned toilet.
Say what you will, but none of you can prove to me that this isn't how Hemingway spent his days.

Comments
Heather: Well, you did save time by using a pre-existing explanation for why your book is no good--it probably would have taken longer to come up with a new one.

Matthew Lippert: Here's what I did today toward becoming a successful string theorist: Voted against the recall, contemplated the beauty of last night's victory, read this blog, enjoyed the Wal-Mart commercial, checked the weather in Philadelphia, ate several cookies at colloquium without staying for the talk. How am I doing so far?

EV: You just blew your whole story by including "edited 20 pages". That sounds like a lot to me. See Jess, the secret to being a good writer is to selectively mold your story. You should have left out the editing part, it would have been a lot funnier. Just trying to help you realize your dream.

EOL: Just so I won't be responsible for misleading nascent string theorists and formic artists: I think what I usually said was that my friend "got up every day and acted like a singer." That is, I think he made sure to do every day what he thought a real singer in his situation would do. (I suppose that from such a perspective, drying the laundry would still be critical.)

Jess: That's true, you did say it that way. And I think we might have had similar artistic vision on the ant figurines, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

EOL: I've always suspected that I was inclined toward the arts.

Jess: Actually, I meant your operatic friend and I. Although possibly you too.

EOL: I see. You're probably right.

I'm sick. I thought I was getting a cold on Friday night and Saturday morning, and then it seemed to go away, but I think the walk yesterday wore me out sufficiently that it all came back. I'm congested and generally out of sorts.
It's hard to take a sick day off when you're unemployed, but today I did my best. I didn't shower until 4, I still haven't put on real shoes, and I spent the last two hours sitting on the sofa eating olives and watching the Queen Mother's funeral. (Yeah, I know she died a while ago. I taped it. Bring it on, Evie, you know you want to.) The rest of the day I worked on an afghan.
I'm starting to feel a little better, though, so tomorrow I think it's back to my usual level of moderate idleness, rather than today's extreme version. For example, tomorrow I'm going to do some real editing work in preparation for submitting my entry to the McSweeney's first-novel contest (there's a $5,000 prize, so if I do win Heather's going to get a pretty sweet Christmas present for telling me about it). It's due on the 15th, and has to be mailed, so I need to get cracking.
I notice the Queen doesn't sing "God Save The Queen," although the rest of the family does. I guess it's kind of like not singing "Happy Birthday" to yourself, but you'd think if anyone had an interest in God saving the Queen, it'd be the Queen. Maybe someone should ask the Thrill about this.
Ah, tonight is the last Red Sox/A's game. Tizzed, I spent a good half-hour trying to figure out what the whole +110 thing was so I could figure out whether I could post "Sizzucks to be Tizzed" in my comments or not, but I didn't get anywhere. I think while you were learning about sports betting, I was learning about the feminine arts like makeup and fashion (Evie, you may bring it on again now).

Comments
EV: I truly do not even know where to begin with that one. You have stumped me. You have exceeded even my expectations. I'm going to go ponder this while I watch the Sox beat the mother-loving crap out of the A's. And no, that is not the Queen Mother-loving crap. I shudder.

tizzed: + 110 means bet 100 dollars to win 210. (the 100 bet plus 110) The line for tonights game is Bos -170 // Oak +150 So, I'm gonna lay 20 down on Oakland to win 50. Or, I could lay 34 dollars on Boston to win 54. (-170 works the other way, bet 170 to win 270) Not every boy knows about sports betting. Only degenerate gamblers like me.

Well, we did the neighborhood walking tour today, and I'm flat-out exhausted but we had a great time. The tour was in a neighborhood called the South Side, which is basically built into the side of a very massive and steep hill, and was organized by their neighborhood association. They made two tour routes (the black tour and the gold tour, naturally), and each one had the equivalent of about 75 stories' worth of steps in it. Fortunately, there were volunteers handing out water, sports drinks, and sweets along the route, or I think I would've collapsed.
We did the gold tour first, and I was pretty wiped out and looked at the black tour and noticed that it more or less started with a 282-step staircase, so my vote was to quit and go listen to the band they had at the organizing area or go home. Robbie made a strong case for continuing, though, and I'm really glad we did, because the black tour went past a church's war memorial for veterans from their congregation, and I found my grandfather's name on it and, I think, one of my grandmother's brothers (the memorial had names of all the veterans from the congregation, not just the ones who died). I figure my father must have known about it, but I'd never heard of it and so it was a pretty neat surprise.
We also liked the houses along the route, and we had a running conversation going about how much they must cost. On the one hand, they have incredible views of the city, but on the other, some are pretty beaten-up and the roads leading to them are unbelievably steep and narrow, and must be horrible in the winter. So I don't know. I know the neighborhood has been gentrifying, and it was interesting to see houses that have been really carefully restored and painted in bright trendy colors, with BMWs and Mercedeses out front, next to houses covered in worn-down siding that are clearly owned by someone's grandma--not bad houses at all, but houses owned by people who couldn't care less about curb appeal.
After the tour, we went to a sandwich shop, Primanti's, for an early dinner. Primanti's is famous around here for serving sandwiches with french fries and coleslaw built into the sandwich itself, and I had a very gratifying sandwich with fried bologna and cheese. (I figured after 150 stories' worth of steps, a little fried bologna couldn't hurt.) Then we came home to find that the Red Sox had just won. All in all, it's been a good day.
Edit: We looked up some of the houses that we passed today and wondered about. Check out this and this. First, the views; then, the prices. I'm in a state of shock. (I suspect that living in Santa Barbara for my early adulthood has ruined any real estate bargaining capacity that I might have otherwise gained...)

Comments
EOL: I think I'm going to move across town into that second house. Is it a bathtub or what in that little dormer?

Jess: I think so. That was the one we were sure was at least twice what it actually costs...

Julie: I kind of like the first one. The outside of the house is a bit lacking in curb appeal, but the inside looks kind of funky and cool. The second looks nice, but cheaply built. And I know this because I performed a complete inspection...in my mind!

Jess: I think you're probably right. The first one, I think, is a house that used to be ugly except for the view, and then some far-thinking people snapped it up and fixed up the inside. We were in the kitchen (they had an open house going) and it was really nice. I don't know if the second is actually cheaply made, but I wouldn't be surprised. Robbie also thought it had a freakish number of porches.

Sometimes, when you really love someone, when you love their facial hair and the way they do their job and just all the little things about them, you are almost more proud of their successes than you could be of your own.
Yes, you guessed it. I'm talking about Trot Nixon. I'll be honest--what first drew me to Trot Nixon was that his name was Trot Nixon. How can you not love a man named Trot Nixon? It would be perverse. My love for him grew when he defied the nasty Angels monitor people and threw a ball into the crowds the first time we went to see the Red Sox play in Anaheim. And now, Trot Nixon has saved the Red Sox' bacon. I love you, Trot. Especially now that you're working on a Big Paul-style mustachio.
I don't want my overwhelming love for Trot Nixon to get in the way of reporting about the other very important thing that happened to me today, which is that we saw School of Rock. I loved it. It's a feel-good movie without being embarrassing and stupid, which is pretty rare. And Jack Black is hilarious.
Other than that, the day was fairly unremarkable. We visited my grandma, and I sold my car to my dad, and Robbie and I played squash. Tomorrow we might go on this walking tour of one of the city neighborhoods, if we're up to it (it apparently has more stairs than the Empire State Building), and then I'm having coffee with my high school friend.

Comments
EV: Yeah, until Trot thanked Jesus Christ three times for helping him score that home run. That soured my love pretty quick.

tizzed: Don't get too hopeful. It'll end tonight. Hudson vs. Burkett. I laid 20 on Hudson +110. I can't lose...

matt lippert: I have to agree with EV. I did love him for a few minutes. But couldn't he just be content to praise the pitching staff and be done with it? I was feeling nervous after that 2nd inning, but now they're taking Hudson out... Didin't they fish Babe Ruth's piano out of the pond last summer?

matt lippert: Ah, the sweet smell of victory! I don't know about this Cowboy Up thing, but I do know Pedro will be pitching tomorrow.

No entry tonight, I'm tired and in a crabby mood. I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you, though. Tomorrow I'll return to my witty, amiable self.

Comments
EV: No band! No band!

Well, my great-aunt Ethel is full of hate. She told me so this morning--I said, "How are you, Ethel?" and she said "Full of hate." Frankly, I can't blame her, since she's being screwed over by nuns, which is not a position anyone really expects to find themselves in. She said she figures hating one person (the head nun) in eighty-six years is all right, and I had to agree. Heck, I probably hate eighty-six people in any given year, now including this nun. Ethel described her as "a big tall woman and every inch is evil," and that does sound unpleasant.
Other than the justifiable nun-directed hatred, today was pretty good. We took my great-aunts to the doctor's to get tuberculosis tests, and that went OK. We divided into teams--me and Ethel versus my mom and Dottie--and Ethel and I were undefeated in the speed trials. We beat them to the car, to the elevator, and then back down to the car again. That's right, a three-peat. I think we may have had a slight advantage, since Ethel is wheelchair-bound and thus in the right hands she can go pretty fast, whereas Dottie uses a walker and is slower, but I was still impressed by our effort. Then we went to KFC, where we bought a truly obscene amount of chicken in a bucket, and then we got started on the closet cleaning. Although we worked for less time than last week, I think this week's results are more visible. All of my mother's clothes are now hanging sideways on the closet bar, rather than hanging around other hangers and at odd angles, and my mother got rid of one of the most awful outfits I've ever seen. I would try to describe it, but nothing I can say would give you the right mental picture. It was black and white, and bad all over.
When I got home, Robbie was hard at work making crepes for dinner in his new crepe pan. They were pretty tasty--we put shrimp and onions and bechamel inside, and I threw a little cheese into mine as well. I think the crepe dinner will become a staple of our dining repertoire.
Now it's time for Thursday night TV. I'm especially excited about the season premiere of Scrubs. I don't know whether that or American Chopper is my favorite TV show, but it's definitely one of the two.

Comments
Robbie: Hate keeps a man alive.

matt lippert: I noticed a distinct lack of baseball in your tv watching tonight. I had Courtney tape the game and went around all day demanding to not be told the score. A lot of good it did me.

EOL: For the record, I'll describe the outfit. It has a black and white checked, knife-pleated skirt in a lightweight, silky, synthetic material. The coordinating sweater is all black in back but has a complex front, three-quarters of which looks rather like a painting by Mondrian, the largest panel of which is rust red. Below the Mondrian section is a five-inch panel of knitted black and white checks,

Jess: Yes. There is also a scarf. The game was in the ninth inning when I got back, so I watched it, but only for a few minutes.

EOL: running horizontally across the hips. Last but not least, there's a jaunty, longish neck scarf in the same material as the skirt. In this outfit's day, I believe, the effect was supposed to be witty and insouciant.

EOL: Don't interrupt your mother.

Jess: It's witty, but it's more laughing at than laughing with.

EOL: Hmmm.

EV: Now I know where Jess gets her tendency to use words like insouciant. And her fashion sense. Just kidding, I'm just going with that theme for a while for kicks. On another note, I really think you should consider writing a series of comic novellas on the Adventures of Dottie and Ethel. You can embellish, but the concept is definitely ready-made.

Jess: Actually, other than this outfit, which really was unjustifiably dreadful, my mom is way more fashion-forward than I ever was. A lot of the stuff we got rid of, though not in style right now, was just right for 1975, or 1980, or whatever. It had just been lingering way too long in the back of the closet.

I'm writing to you all from my brand-new, snazzy, still-vaguely-smelling-like-aerosol desk. This was the first day I thought it was definitely dry enough to put things on, so I worked on it this afternoon. I like it a lot. I took some pictures of it this afternoon to send to Heather, but if any of the rest of you want to see them, let me know. (I won't be offended if you don't, though, since I would rather be torn limb from limb by wild dogs than see photos of most people's home-improvement projects. However, if you do want to see them, I strongly suggest doing what Robbie did after he uploaded them, which is to watch them as a slide show set to "Mamma Mia." It gives you a feeling like you're looking at pictures of your ex-boyfriend who you accidentally hooked up with last night, only your ex-boyfriend is a green-and-white student desk and accompanying file cabinet.)
Other than my new deskitude, and the work I did on it today, this was a supremely dull day. It wasn't bad, though--just not riveting in the retelling. I went to the gym, and I went to the grocery store, and I made gingerbread. Tomorrow is part two of the Great Closet Cleaning. My great-aunts got booted out of their senior citizens' center, since the nuns who run it have evidently rewritten their solemn God-given mission so that now they only help low-maintenance, fun-loving elderly people, so they'll be there, and I'm anticipating a rip-roaring good time. Maybe we'll go TP the senior citizens' center, or smash their mailbox with Ethel's wheelchair. (Not with Ethel in it! From a car window, of course.)
Oh, and tonight, after West Wing, is the Red Sox game. I think I hardly need to say that we'll be watching it. By the way, for any of you who doubt that Robbie has clearly defined good guys and bad guys in life, I present the following conversation from yesterday:
Robbie: Oh, sweet, the Twins won.
Jess: So?
Robbie: They were playing Microsoft.
It's a real wonder he never fell in with any of those religions that have a strong God/devil battle as a central theme. He's tailor-made for it.

Comments:
tizzed: Like the Red Sox are any better. Their spending is 3rd in the Major leagues, over 100 million payroll. Only the Yankees at 150 and Dodgers at 115 are worse. Don't get me wrong, I hate the Yankees, but I hate the red sox, too. If the Yankees are Microsoft, the Red Sox are Wal Mart.

Robbie: So we're just all supposed to be Devil Ray fans 'cus they're the cheapest? The Yankees are innately evil regardless of the money spent. (Notice the correct grammer? I got the grammer nazi over my shoulder. Now she is mumbling something about "grammer"...)

Jess: The thing about the Red Sox is that even after spending money, they still fail. I find that endearing. The money->success equation is not so compelling. Tizzed, I think you have the makings of a fine Pirates fan...

EV: Shut up! This is the year, man, this is the year!

tizzed: Its not just about money, really. You complain about the Yankees pilfering other organizations for good players? Name one good Red Sox besides Nomah that isn't home-grown... They pilfered Pedro from Montreal, Ramirez from Cleveland, Damon from the A's. At least the Yankees can claim Pettite, Soriano, Rivera, Jeter, Williams and Posada are home grown. Sox = Yankees with better PR

Jess: Again, another reason you'd make a great Pirates fan. They couldn't pilfer anyone from anywhere.